If a doctor treated you this way, how would you feel?

I have several examples. I’ll leave things like a doctor operating on you and never calling for a followup appointment. You end up calling and getting an appointment TWO MONTHS LATER.

First example:

I had a cake that I was going to make that resembled a 3D doctors’ bag. It was from a 2 week long diaper bag (and other baby items) cake class. The teacher agreed to allow me to make the doctors’ bag versus the diaper bag (and; other baby items). I attempted to contact the bariatric surgeons’ nurse, a couple of weeks before, to make sure my bariatric surgeon would be at work on that Friday. I had a bit of trouble getting to her. Because it was to be a surprise, I was pretty anxious to talk to her because of the time involved my own time, materials to make the cake. I told the nurse after I got in touch with her why I was so insistent on talking to her right then. She understood and said she would keep it secret. I was having to call so that it wouldn’t be seen in my electronic health record (in case the bariatric surgeon would see it). The bariatric surgeon called me up at home and fussed at me for needing attention right then, they get to me when they can, they paid more attention to me than any one else, etc. I didn’t say anything. Now here I’m getting chewed out for doing something NICE for this doctor! Then that Friday, I got to sneak the cake in, with the help of the staff. I had a few other things made also. I was waiting in a room (no appt.) and the nurse told him to go in, without telling him why. He came in and was very surprised but acted pleased. I told him that he got mad at me for being so insistent calling a few weeks ago, but this was for him. He just laughed. (and then wanted my gelatin flower too! “Is that for me?” “No!” … I am not getting in bad with my church for him. ) Not one word of apology, ever, for chewing me out, instead it was laughter. What do YOU think about what this says about a bariatric surgeon, a surgeon, or even any doctor?

Second example:

Another interaction with my bariatric surgeon: I didn’t want to be weighed because I had been losing so much weight. I finally said no to getting on the scale. This group is part of a system that, on the internet, guarantees you can refuse tests/care and still be treated. Legally you do have the right to refuse. Well, when I refused, the nurse said she would get the doctor. He comes in with his nurse. He ends up telling me ‘if you don’t do as I say, I will put it in your records. Other doctors will see it and wonder why’. Now if someone is concerned, and they’ve been mentally, negatively, been treated about the loss of so much weight in such a short time, would this make you feel better? To be coerced against your will against taking a medical test that you legally have the right to refuse and still get care? That they would do this to put a wedge between you and your other doctors?

Third example: Another instance: on the day I was released from the hospital from malnutrition (a Monday, June 25, 2012), the surgeon told me to see him next Wed. Then he said oh wait, next Wed. is July 4th, see me that Friday (July 6). Ok I said. Well I got a call later on and someone was very unhappy because I didn’t call and make an appt. for Friday June 29th. I said it was “see him next Friday”. “Well I didn’t know what I was thinking”. Well neither did I but I was written up in my medical record! I was BLAMED for their MISTAKE.

Fourth example: After my gallbladder surgery, I was told 2 weeks before I could do anything (meaning swimming). Then a couple of days after the surgery and I had come home from the hospital, I asked and then it changed to three weeks. I said (from my electronic health record): “3 WEEKS? That’s not what he said before, it was 2! What was he smoking, toking or testing from the OR gas passers before he gave you that answer? After all the food I brought (didn’t go to bed Sun night & started some stuff on Sat night), even made fresh turkey/chicken wraps & got fruit/veggie trays with homemade potlatch seasoning for dip. And he says I push HIS buttons?

** I brought a boatload of food for the doctors & nurses in the surgical areas. The doctor had told me before that “I pushed his buttons”.

The response from his nurse was: “Ok, he said AT LEAST TWO WEEKS…..”.

How easy is it going to be to follow a doctor who changes your directions and then believes you were the one at fault for it?

Fifth example:
See example 4. When a doctor tells you you push his buttons, maybe the doctor needs to learn to be professional and not have patients that “push buttons” when people do their research and ask questions.

Sixth example:
I actually had my surgeon tell me, ‘You know I don’t like it when you do that’. Now since when does what a doctor LIKES matters? When a bariatric surgeon, says in a video publicized that they have all sorts of people who have surgery and names firemen as an example, that means that there should not be any problem doing any sort of physical activity.

Its not about:

the surgeon selling you a particular surgery because
: that’s the one they do
: or the one that makes them the most money
: or the one that gets them their quota of X surgeries for the year
: or keeps them coming back to you.

It is about what is right for you!

One note: sleeve surgeries are noted (as of 3/2014) to have a problem with reflux or GERD. This means if you already have it, or you don’t have it, you have a greater chance of getting it or keeping it or it getting worse with this surgery. You would need conversion to RNYGB (gastric bypass) possibly to fix it. So choose a surgeon who has NO vested interest in the $$$ from the surgery or one that keeps you coming back to them. You want what is best for you!

The other is the personality of the surgeon. If you like them, you’ll keep your followup appointments. Plus it makes working with them easier if they have a personality you can deal with. In my case, I had a very paternalistic surgeon. While that works for some, that surgeon stated once about a particular treatment he chose: “I did what I thought was right”. EXACTLY! What THEY thought was right by THEIR values, mores, and standards, not what worked best for ME and my life, job, friends, family, etc.

How many of you would allow the company to build your house to choose your carpet, wall paint, etc.? This is the same thing. The surgeon should be giving you the options and letting YOU make the decision. If not, are you going to be happy for the rest of your life having this person make decisions on your health?


One other item: a center of excellent (which all are in the Hampton Roads area) means that a group or hospital has hit certain milestones & fulfilled criteria. It means NOTHING as to whether or not a surgeon is good or not.

A big item is experience with the particular type of surgery you want done. I refer to this in my questions for surgeons categories of posts. One item about the RNYGB (bypass): the stoma, link from the pouch or stomach, to the small intestine, can dilate or become wider. That means a lack of restriction. This area is made to keep food in the pouch so that you feel full. Once it dilates, food isn’t held in the stomach and you’ll start to feel hungry. Since malabsorption happens within really the first 2 years (or less, the intestines “relearn” or adapt to be able to absorb more, regain can restart. The more intestine bypassed, the more malabsorption happens.


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